I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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