the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
