After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
