I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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