I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just forgot I was standing up.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
