apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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