Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
