haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
