Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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