he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
