you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
