Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Sponge bath it is.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize