Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Sext me about skeletons
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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