I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize