My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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