He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
