I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
