Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I love having hate sex.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
