I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Come share oat with me in your robe
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
