woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize