it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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