Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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