I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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