I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
