So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
