C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
