I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
