girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
