So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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