We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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