the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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