I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
