i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
