i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
