wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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