I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
