Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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