He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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