Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im holly from the hills drunk
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
