so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
