Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I could make wine with my vomit
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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