is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
