My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
