I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
