I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
