hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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