You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
