dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
