I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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