wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
