Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
