At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
