I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
