i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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