Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
