Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize