dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
