reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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